Lawnmower Men drama

So there are these two people who are in a constant battle to try and cut my lawn at the lawn edge. Each has the offer of $15 to make it fucking pretty, no grass on the sidewalk, clean up around the AC condenser unit, don't chew up my flowers and shit. The only rule is you come by on Saturday late morning, early afternoon. So last time this one guy did it (I'll call him LM1). I had only a $20, and said fuck it, here's $20, $10 next time? "Sure". I made it CLEAR that next time was IN TWO WEEKS. Two. Because grass just isn't growing as fast at this time of year.

So he comes by the next week, and I remind him I said TWO WEEKS. So he leaves.

He's bugged me 3 times this week, each time talking about how he has no money, blah blah blah, like it makes a damn bit of difference. I make it perfectly clear that I'm not a charity, I just am a guy with a lawn that needs mowing, and that I said saturday, and I meant saturday. It would be another thing entirely if he was sitting there with his mower, he wasn't – he's like hey can you front me and I'll cut it saturday. How's about a hell no?

Anyway, so LM2, the guy who initially was with him when they cut it the first time back in July (and it was monsterously overgrown then, so it was really a two person job), comes by today, telling me yet another sob story about how he lives at his mom's and the other guy lives in his own place blah blah blah. I again point out that I don't care, all I want is a mowed lawn. Since he's here at the right time, I said give the other guy until 11:15, since he said he'd show at 11. If he's not here then, it's yours. I'll be in the shower, just start mowing the shit at 11:15, you know I'm good for it.

I'm in the shower, 11:15 rolls around and the guy fires up the mower, and takes care of business. I give him $15 and take off to run some errands. The guy tells me on my way out: "Please just tell the other guy a kid came by and did it". Now, I honestly am a shitty liar, hope this guy understands this. Oh well. I guess it's not a lie, since they act like fucking children and all I want is my goddamned lawn mowed. It's almost easier to strap on a dust mask and do it myself than deal with this childish drama over who gets to cut my grass. What the fuck?

Anyway, enough venting.

2 thoughts on “Lawnmower Men drama”

  1. I actually take pleasure in maintaining my yard, even if it kills my back to do it. I guess because I used to have to use an old school helical push mower when I was a kid and the blade was always dull. It's nice havign a gas mower and power trimmer to make it look nice. Lawn mowing is my zen time. Too bad about the competing "kids". I guess what really matters is whether they do a bang-up job or not.

  2. Perhaps you should just contract with one of them and be done with it. One of the reasons I prefer renting a condo to renting a house is that there's no yard work involved, and I can still have my small garden in pots (tomatoes, hot peppers and herbs) out on the balcony.

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