Timmins.net

I'm writing this beforehand because I won't have time to write it after.

Congratulations to and on their successful marriage. It went well, didn't it? Sorry for falling into the candles and burning the church down. But they have insurance, right? Hah, thank god we got the damage waiver on the tuxedos, I can't imagine how much it would cost to repair the burn holes otherwise.

Some people might have thought it in bad taste to roast marshmallows over the embers, but I've always been one to make the best of a bad situation.

And I didn't realize I'd say the things I did at the reception. Silly me for drinking heavily before hand. I mean, why do you think I fell into the candles afterall? I'm lucky I didn't burst into flames myself!

Don't worry, your family will talk to me eventually.

And the prank gone wrong, again I apologize. I did pay the farmer for the vet bills on the horse. That may not be enough, but it should be a good start. I gave him my phone number so you wouldn't even have to deal with it directly.

Oh, and in the event all goes well, well, forget I said all this. 😎