to all door to door salesmen:
a bit of advice
if you're going to quote out my gutters
I've sold shit before. I sell shit now occasionally. I know the game.
If you're going to measure my gutters, bring a ladder and a ruler. Humor me.
Don't bring up the interest bearing payment options, and no detail on the quote.
Don't tell me the 20% is only good tonight, and look dejected when I say I'm going to compare quotes. You'll give me the 20% or I'll give your quote to someone else to re-do.
All of this after pursuing me relentlessly for weeks, when I said "I work weird hours but you're persistent and I like that, I'll carve out a bit of your time. I get out at 7:30 and i won't be home til at least 8."
don't send some old guys to sit in my driveway and then complain I came home at 8:10
I don't care if you work until 7:30, big fucking deal. If you want my business, you'll either measure the goddamn gutters and prepare a quote during the day, or you'll leave me alone.

I'm going to call that dude who bothered me about this and ream him over it. He was like "Oh there's so many options we couldn't just come out during the day and leave you with a quote". Yea, my one option. Gutters. Turns out, they're NOT that complicated or option filled. Surprising!

"Our pricing is a quote binding on us and good for a year". What did I get? A number on the back of a business card. Yea, that shit's binding for sure.

So 1st choice home improvement, fuck off and die. Thanks for wasting my goddamn time.

(looks like I'm not the only person who has met them before)

4 thoughts on “”

  1. Do you guys get a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses being so close to Kingdom Hall? We haven't seen any yet, but I think it has to do with the fact that our next door neighbors have literally scared them off and have a permanent "Keep Out" sign on chains barricading their front porch.

    1. I forgot to warn you

      Val, they may come by… if they do, and ask for me.. tell them you buried me in the back yard, and YOU live there now! etc..

      1. Re: I forgot to warn you

        Shall I tell them that I saved some of your blood just for them? Oh, and S.J. can't wait for them to come over, because he willingly invites them in and engages them in deep philosophical conversations about their beliefs. Back in Flat Rock, they even had to call in their Elders to talk to him because he blew the door-to-doorer's minds. Furthermore, he has two entire bookshelves full of JW books. I guess you could say we're armed and ready for them.

        1. Re: I forgot to warn you

          that's why simon's my hero

          yes, we get a lot of JWs. I hear we get LDS too but I haven't personally experienced it. Last person I thought was a proselytizer that woke me up early one morning and was going to get my wrath turned out to be a process server. Meh!

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