Dear Rap Artists,

Is there any way for me to indicate that I am, indeed, a true player, without elevating my selection of firearms? Would elevating my hands suffice, or perhaps even a less overt act?


PS: What should felons elevate to indicate their status as a true player? They generally can't have firearms.

13 thoughts on “”

    1. hah, I'm saying if they wanna stay legit and still show they're a true player. If their felony act was brandishing a firearm, can they reference their criminal filings to demonstrate their level of being a player?

  1. I recommend large amounts of gold, or "bling" in the lingo. Gemstones, also known as "ice" are another good way of showing one's belonging to the player's select social circle. "Spinners", a type of rim that moves on its own even after the car has come to a complete stop, are a must. Speaking of vehicles, you only need to know one word: Escalade.

    Finally, you must "be balling". Don't ask me what the fuck that's supposed to mean. There don't appear to be any spherical objects involved in doing so, hence the origin of the word "balling" in the phrase is unclear.

  2. You've already been injured in a gun-related incident, so you receive mandatory points, or "props", for this.
    Next you need to "pimp some ho's" and trick out your minivan.

    1. Do self-inflicted gun injuries count for props? If they do, they must count for less than the props for getting shot. Otherwise, we'd see a whole posse of rappers shooting themselves in the ass for the street cred.

      1. no, now everyone needs to make rap remixes of me, based on recordings they found laying around the internet.

        Might I suggest

      1. Re: mtv help?

        Paul's Blazer was Detroit-style. It would totally blend in with any ghetto neighborhood. He definitely didn't need to worry about it being stolen.

        1. Re: mtv help?

          In fact, I generally left the keys in the ignition when I was stepping away for a few minutes, like leaving it parked in front of a friends house when I went inside for a minute. Usually, someone who leaves their keys in the ignition knows nobody is stupid enough to steal their car, either for safety reasons, or because they're really dangerous people like drug dealers. It's how I let people know that I was a dangerous ass gangsta who "just didn't give a fuck". 😉

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