Tag Archives: dear


Dear anti-spammers who let scripts run wild,

Quit reporting my backup MX as a spam relay. It is sending you a doublebounce due to your name being on the from of the spam. It sucks, yes, but I am not breaking RFCs for your benefit.


Dear MCI/UUnet

You mean well, I'm sure, but you're fucking retarded.

I appreciate the idea of faxing me when you have a service issue affecting my employer's office internet connectivity. It takes balls to admit something's broken that the customer didn't notice, and I totally admire that.

I could have, however, lived a long and happy life without you trying to send these two faxes to my work cell phone at 4am.


Dear Rap Artists,

Is there any way for me to indicate that I am, indeed, a true player, without elevating my selection of firearms? Would elevating my hands suffice, or perhaps even a less overt act?


PS: What should felons elevate to indicate their status as a true player? They generally can't have firearms.

Dear Livejournal,

Your password security requirements are retarded. Apparently, my new password, that you literally forced me to pick, is half the length of the original password. It's somehow more secure because it contains punctuation (with an attacker not knowing that or not, they would be forced to try punctuation, numbers, etc, just because it was possible), but seriously, there was no way in hell my previous password would be guessed by an automated system or human being. It was a strung together sentence.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Oh well.

Love, Paul

Dear Internet

Dear Internet,

Today I upgraded to iTunes 4.9. It includes support for "podcasting". Now, despite the wankery about this perpeptuated by every computer technology reporter ever, as if this were some sort of messianic second coming of Jesus, I can't think of any practical reason I'd want to hear people talk about crap.

I ask all of you who support this technology, which is apparently some sort of wet orgy between RSS 2.0 and MP3, to convince me why this is such a earth shattering technology that I should bother messing with it. Preferrably point me toward compelling content, stuff that I'd spend time listening to. You know where to find my interests. I'm not trying to start a technical debate here, but this is only the 200th technology I've been told will change the course of human history forever, so I remain sceptical.

Thank you in advance,