WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?
GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
crossing the road represented the application of these two different
functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring
greater services to the American people.
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been
polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach
the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was
crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was
getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone
out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with
crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of
this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about
your money, money the government took from you to build roads for
chickens to cross.
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price
dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people
see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to
the "other side." That's what they call it – the other side. Yes, my
friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
But why it crossed, I've not been told!
To die. In the rain. Alone.
MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads
without having their motives called into question.
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone
told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to
the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how
it a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long
dream of crossing the road.
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
It was a historical inevitability.
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified
in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the
death its right to do it.
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens
have to cross before you believe it?
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the
road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross
roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by
chicken? Could you define chicken please?
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken,
Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and
there was much rejoicing.
I missed one!